Waiting isn’t the hardest part

Tom Petty sang, “The waiting is the hardest part.”  He captured in lyrics what we know from experience – the agony of the wait.

Last summer I experienced waiting in a completely different way, as hope.  A publisher was considering my manuscript on works of mercy.  We began conversations in June, and she presented the manuscript to her Acquisitions Committee in August.

In the time between, the waiting, I was so excited to have the opportunity.  I felt like everything was coming full circle and that God really did have a plan for me.  I worked hard polishing the chapters and helped put together a marketing plan, but I wasn’t anxious.  Instead, I felt like I was in a pale pink bubble, not made by a fairy-tale godmother, but by God himself.  I was on the cusp of a dream, closer than I ever thought possible.  Instead of feeling like the waiting was the hardest part, I wanted to remain in it.  It seemed too painful to be so close and experience rejection.  For the first time in a long time, I felt genuine hope.  I would have been content to float on that hope for the rest of my life.

The Bible says that hope does not disappoint, and maybe it doesn’t.  But rejection does.  Rejection hurt in a way that I didn’t think possible.  The bubble burst, tears fell, and the glory of the wait was over.  The publisher liked my writing and my subject, but they wanted me to have more “followers,” more popularity, before they reconsidered publishing.

And I get it.  That’s how the industry works.  If you are a social media darling, if you are a virtual superstar, you are virtually set.  That wasn’t me, and, those weren’t my ambitions.

I wanted to write a book about works of mercy because I genuinely believe in their capacity to better the world.  I want people to read it, because it is worthy, not because I am good at writing witty captions on Facebook.

Mr. Petty, God rest your soul, I would have done anything to go back to the waiting, to the hope.  But what I’ve relied on since then is faith:  in works of mercy, my goal, and God.  It’s been nothing like floating on hope.  It’s been messier, mountainous, and just plain hard.  I’ve wanted to quit, to climb so far underneath the covers of defeat that no one would ever be able to get me out of bed.

But where hope is floating; faith is a foundation.  It catches me before I fall.  Its grip gives me the strength to move forward, and I’ve been awed by its capacity to hold me upright.

I’d rather be in the waiting, in the hope.  But right now, I am letting my faith carry me and it hasn’t been the hardest part.  I think that would be a life without faith.  Free falling.

This is where I write something to engage you so that you leave a comment.  How about leaving a comment? 🙂

Miss last week’s post?  Read here.

19 thoughts on “Waiting isn’t the hardest part

  • Pingback: A Horse, Of Course | Mercy Me! I've Got Work to Do

  • June 22, 2018 at 10:25 am
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    You are a gift to all of us – your writing, your faith, your honesty. Smooch!

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    • June 26, 2018 at 2:27 am
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      Aw! Thank you! I couldn’t do it without you (quite literally you know!)

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  • June 20, 2018 at 11:40 am
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    Thanks Lara for another great posts. I look forward to reading them.

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    • June 20, 2018 at 2:02 pm
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      Thank you, Alexa! I love hearing from you every week. It keeps us connected until we can get together again!

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  • June 20, 2018 at 4:02 am
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    And BTW I LOVE this picture and your T-shirt!

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    • June 20, 2018 at 2:01 pm
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      Leilani had this shirt made for me! How awesome is that? Of course, I am afraid to wear it because I am messy and don’t want to stain it!

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  • June 20, 2018 at 4:01 am
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    Doesn’t He work in the most mysterious ways?! He WILL complete this good work He has begun in you. I so enjoy your reflections and the seemingly ease with which you pen such inspiring thoughts. May God continue to draw us closer to Him through you. 😘😘

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    • June 20, 2018 at 2:00 pm
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      Ha! Mysterious ways indeed! He’s always teaching me something that I would rather not learn! I know he has a plan for me and for all of this even if it’s only to strengthen my own faith. Nothing is ever wasted. Thank you for the encouragement!

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  • June 19, 2018 at 4:33 pm
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    Hi Lara! You always inspire me with your weekly message! You are amazing Lara. You always lift me up and encourage us all. God bless you always!

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    • June 20, 2018 at 1:57 pm
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      Thank you! That means so much coming from you! You have had such an INCREDIBLE impact spreading the goodness of God to students and encouraging them in the ways of the Lord!

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  • June 19, 2018 at 2:26 pm
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    morning Lara! I don’t do much social media. I have an Instagram for family pics mainly. It is sad that you need more in this forum but that’s our world today. I really enjoy your weekly email post. You are touching many lives with your faith and inspiration. Keep it up! God has a plan for you and if its just continuing with these weekly post I think you’re awesome! Although I think He has more ahead for you! God bless

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    • June 20, 2018 at 2:06 pm
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      Thank you, Kathy! I appreciate the encouragement and kind words. My favorite bible verse has always been “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to strengthen you not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” It’s the first Bible verse I learned and I have relied on it so many times throughout the years. I am trying to let go of the outcome and just be in the moment and trust that his plan will unfold in his time. It’s hard to do but I am less stressed when I do it!

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  • June 19, 2018 at 1:13 pm
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    Hi Lara – great post, love the Tom Petty references and the point that hope in God is enough in and of itself.

    Have you ever though if expanding your presence on to Instagram? Or twitter? I know you said social media isn’t your goal but if it’s a practical necessity it may help to expand there. Also there’s this female blogger I like “the fox and she” who has lots of resources about expansion via blogging. Look her up if you feel so inclined!

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    • June 19, 2018 at 2:30 pm
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      Hi Anne! I am on twitter (Mercy me I’ve got work to do @ _ Lara Patangan) – follow me! I agree I need to get on Instagram and I will definitely check out the blog! I appreciate the practical advice 🙂

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  • June 19, 2018 at 11:35 am
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    You are amazing Lara. You always know how to lift me up and encourage on a Tuesday morning:)

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    • June 19, 2018 at 2:26 pm
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      Thank you, Jamie! You just lifted me up too!

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  • June 19, 2018 at 10:38 am
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    Honest, funny and heartwarming!!

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    • June 19, 2018 at 2:26 pm
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      Thank you, Lorrie!

      Reply

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