I was in my car when the 1985 song, “The Search is Over,” by Surrender came on the radio. I had not heard it in years and for a moment it reminded me of being a 13-year old girl pining over some boy or another who refused to acknowledge my existence in a reasonable way like a bouquet of flowers, box of chocolates, or a boom box blaring a romantic song outside my bedroom window. (Then I remembered it was my Whitney Houston album I played at such somber times of adolescent angst – not Surrender.)
Lost in thought about those days when I would cocoon myself within my four lavender bedroom walls and lament my imperfect body, wardrobe, and life’s entirety, I had a most random thought of a certain guy. He was never my crush, or who I fixated on when I drowned myself in pity, or whom I even had a fleeting thought when I sat idly and listened to sad songs about people who once knew love. I heard the lyrics “The search is over. You were with me all the while,” and I thought of God. I was surprised at how my brain went from unrequited teenage infatuation to the essence of total and complete love that is God.
Yet it made sense to me because in the time since record albums were replaced with cassette tapes, and cassette tapes were replaced with CD’s, and CD’s were replaced with music subscriptions, and music itself degraded into some sort of homage to one’s booty — I’ve searched for many things. I have searched for the perfect man, house, job, couch, school, church, outfit, plant, publisher, vacation, vocation, doctor, and dog. I have spent so very much time on a search of some sort. What I found is that none of it compares to my relationship with God. In all of the searching that so often felt paramount to my satisfaction, to any chance of happiness, all I really needed was what I already had. An abiding God, who faithfully stood at my side, humoring my distractions, patiently awaiting my many detours, and holding me upright despite wayward falls. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain,” (1 Corinthians 15:58).
So much of our world’s searching can be done in vain when we look to other people, things, accolades, and acceptance for value. Meanwhile, the love that God has for us is priceless, unconditional, unwavering, and inexhaustible. Anything else you are looking for is just a distracting spin on a turntable. It may take you round and round and fill your head with noise, yet the only thing I know that stops this pesky search innate to our humanity is God. I may not have realized it when I was thirteen but he’s so much better than a boom box blaring outside my bedroom window. Besides, if you think about it, you’ll see, he’s been with you all the while.
What are you searching for right now? As much as I know I have found God, I often find that searching is still part of my journey. I am not sure if this is just part of the human experience or if I haven’t evolved much since adolescence. At least now I know I’m not alone and wherever you are on your own journey, neither are you.
Sending gratitude to Blessed Is She for sharing this post with their readers. https://blessedisshe.net/the-blog/search-over/
Read last week’s post here: Smiling Hearts, Frozen Iguanas, and Viral Monkeys