Pain: It’s Not that Interesting (but You are)

We all have a story and often we are afraid to tell it.  It’s the part of us that doesn’t come up in our social media feeds or in casual conversation.  I get that.  I don’t tell all of mine.  All any of us can do is share what we are comfortable with and hope whoever we trust doesn’t use it to cause pain.  Most of us have already experienced enough of that.

I think I was in college when I first realized that everyone has a story that maybe is a little bit broken.  It was a relief to know that other people had hurt and healed or at least hurt and found hope again.  Not because I didn’t have hope, but I just always hated the thought of being alone, different, and the only one.  And, yet, I think we all feel like that sometimes.

Now, instead of feeling alone, I am sometimes overwhelmed by how much suffering exists in our world.  Betrayal, pain, grief, disappointment, longing, and loss are part of our human experience.

What I realize is that despite life’s mistakes and meandering hurts, the universality of pain diminishes what feels monumental from defining to just one more destination on what we hope will be a long journey.  Maybe that’s why God thought it was so important for his son to live our humanity.  Jesus suffered beyond the comprehensible and yet it wasn’t what defined him.  From conception through infinity that was always love – not loss.

Everyone has a sad story.  We just have different details, characters, and plot twists.  It’s not the pain that makes it unique, it’s the way we find our way out that makes it interesting.  It’s the way we forgive valiantly that is heroic.  It’s the way we choose healing over hate that can inspire others to do the same.  It’s the way we love through loss that we choose life.  And, always, we should choose life.

I love to hear people’s stories but it isn’t their pain that makes them interesting.  A friend who has recently been through a hard time said of her own hardships, “I now think, it really isn’t interesting.  But I am! I’m interesting and I have so much love to give.”

What the heck could I possibly say after that?

As, always, love says it all.

Can you look back at difficult periods of your life and see the blessings that came from them?  If not, my hope is that you will soon.  God is transformative.  Let him write you a new story.  

Read more here: Mercy! Being Mama is Hard

7 thoughts on “Pain: It’s Not that Interesting (but You are)

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  • June 4, 2020 at 10:02 am
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    Lara, I have been following your blog for some time, and I genuinely enjoy reading your posts. However, I must admit that I was baffled by your latest one. It seems as if you barely scratched the surface on addressing the issues of pain and injustice that seem to be affecting American society at the moment. Americans from every walk of life are hurting because of the effects of implicit bias on communities of color, chiefly African-American people. How can you be a pro-life advocate and emphasize love over hate if you don’t acknowledge that injustice exists and should not be tolerated?

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    • June 9, 2020 at 3:01 am
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      Janice – thank you for reaching out. I wrote this post several months ago before COVID or the race riots. I apologize that it seemed like I was trying to tread lightly on a subject that deserves a bold response. I can see how it was interpreted that way but again I wrote this way before I could have anticipated the state of world affairs today. Still, it does not answer your important and fair question about why I haven’t spoken up about the heartbreaking prejudices that have caused our country so much pain. These last few weeks I have been dealing with significant and unexpected health issues. I haven’t written anything other than the post I am running tomorrow regarding those issues. I have been praying the rosary daily and specifically ask for peace and healing in our communities from racial injustice. Regrettably, I have not had a chance to acknowledge the issue publically because of the other things I am going through right now, yet I assure you it weighs heavily on my heart too.

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  • June 2, 2020 at 4:02 pm
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    No one said life was easy. I think the hardest thing I ever had to deal with was when my son was born with a genetic disorder. It was really painful finding this out when he was born and painful the years ahead helping him grow and develop through his challenges. The suffering has made me more patient and appreciative of him and other people. It has helped me see how strong those that have disabilities are.

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    • June 9, 2020 at 3:13 am
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      Alexa, thank you for sharing that. You are probably the most patient person I know and you have such a gift of making everyone feel special. We all have crosses to bear – that isn’t the interesting part. What is so remarkable are the blessings that come from it. Somehow they become the part of our lives that have the most meaning. To me, that has to be because of God. He turns all that is scary and unsure and hard into something beautiful. Your family is beautiful. And, you are an incredible mother.

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  • June 2, 2020 at 12:07 pm
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    Beautifully written, thank you for sharing! Likewise in the World of TROML/SSS, where we are all Spiritual Beings, physical, emotional, and mental pain & suffering is an opportunity to transform one’s love… seems like every painful situation requires one to grow & become closer to God & other human beings whether intended or wanted… TROML Baby (an Exclamation of Joy & Gratitude)!!! ❤ http://www.SplendidSpiritualSelf.com

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    • June 9, 2020 at 3:17 am
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      Thank you, Andy. Yes – whether it is intended or wanted – our trials can bring us closer to God and others if we let them. It took me so long to realize how transformative hardships can be and while I still would prefer and easy peasy day to something scary or sad – I know that life is full of a spectrum of emotion and experiences. TROML! Thank you for always being so positive!

      Reply

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