Faith in Quarantine

I don’t know if I am going to mentally survive the isolation of quarantine.  The number of people testing positive for COVID-19 is skyrocketing here in Florida.  I am considered at increased risk for severe illness if I get the virus because of yet another dubious gift of 2020, severe stenosis caused by a dissected carotid artery.  Trust me, I wouldn’t want COVID-19 anyway, but I certainly don’t want to do anything to tip the precarious situation I am already in.  So, I stay at home.

I have a lovely home which I have gone to great lengths to find perfect throw pillows for but I am sick of being here. It feels like jail, only with comfy, well-coordinated pillows. Being quarantined reminds me of the birds we had as pets when I was growing up.  My friends hated to spend the night at my house because they would squawk and squeal like angry alarm clocks way before our teenage bodies were ready to wake.  And, no wonder the birds were angry – they existed in a cage of monotony.  Quarantining makes me feel somewhere between an inmate and a caged bird.

When it turns noon, I pretend my nightgown is really a sundress and carry on with the day’s inactivity.  And to add to my disdain, I get frustrated with myself for being so whiny about having no life when the whole reason I am doing this is so that I can have life.  So, I cram peanut M & M’s in my face and watch with envy as the hummingbird outside the window flutters from flower to flower in a fury of freedom.  I can’t help but wonder if she knows anything about the caged bird (not the one that sings – the angsty, squalling bird that tormented tired teenagers).

I worry that God thinks I am a wimp.  I worry that he is disappointed that I can’t just feel grateful that I’m safe at home and not confined to a jail cell or a birdcage in someone’s kitchen.  Once again, I am reminded of how adverse I am to suffering.  The whole carry-your-cross thing seems so heavy and I wonder with all of the technological advances of our time, why there isn’t an app that can carry our crosses for us?  I can think of countless ways that God could justifiably condemn me for making such a big deal out of my relatively minuscule problems when he suffered so much for me.  But then I remember his great mercy and unconditional love.  Few of us can fathom the depths of either.  Yet when I contemplate it, all my dinginess feels new.  I have hope because I believe that somehow, despite all that I am and all that I am not, he loves me anyway.    This is true for you too, my friend.

We are people of faith.  It is an incredible gift to blessed with this belief.  This year has been tough for all of us.  Now isn’t the time to be hard on ourselves or our neighbors.  More than ever, the world needs us to emulate the mercy that God shows each of us.  That starts from within.  By leaning into our faith during these difficult days, we will never be like a caged bird, regardless of our circumstances. By holding tight to even the smallest notion of God’s inexhaustible love and mercy, we can overcome any challenge.  “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).  Like a hungry bird, I hold tight to the seeds of my faith.

More than ever, I am grateful for my faith and this community of faith.  Whether it’s isolation, or loneliness, or health issues, or something entirely different – I know the struggle with suffering is universal.  Yet, so is God’s love and mercy.  May you feel both today and always. ~ Lara

(P.S. – I would love to hear how you are dealing with the virus.  Please share!) 

Read more here: Crisis of a Wannabe Gymnast

6 thoughts on “Faith in Quarantine

  • July 15, 2020 at 2:22 am
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    How am I dealing with the virus? Fair at best. Working in healthcare at the hospital is very stressful. Constantly worrying about team members being exposed, then losing them for a period of time when they do; trying to keep up with the latest from the CDC and other professional organizations on how to treat patients during this time and how to protect yourself at the same time… it’s exhausting. What helps me get through is my faith, family and exercise.

    Reply
    • July 15, 2020 at 2:18 pm
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      I am sorry, John. That sounds intense. And I know all of that is added to existing job and family responsibilities. I will for sure keep you in my prayers. I worry a lot about people in the healthcare industry and wish we could curb this virus spread enough so that it doesn’t overwhelm the system and the people who bear the great burden of treatment. Please let me know if I can help in any way besides prayer. I do believe that God is at work in this and that there is great hope that we will all be awakened to what matters most in life.

      Reply
  • July 14, 2020 at 7:02 pm
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    Enjoy your devotionals.
    This one about the caged bird was especially meaningful.
    We get so wound up in our situations we don’t seeOur blessings.
    We have survived this since early March….count your blessings, child!
    I will…and I do. Thankmyou.

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    • July 14, 2020 at 8:50 pm
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      Amen! You are right! I keep thinking this too shall pass. And, yes, so much to be grateful for always. The truth is the same as it ever was – we are lucky to be alive right now!

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  • July 14, 2020 at 4:20 pm
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    It’s hard being in quarantine. Praying to God to help those dealing first hand with this disease makes me feel that I am doing a small thing to help someone else.

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    • July 14, 2020 at 8:48 pm
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      Great point, Alexa. My prayer life has grown considerably during this time. And it does make me feel useful to pray for others. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

      Reply

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